I have always felt that my life has been blessed. I grew up in a family that loved me, and although there were some rough patches in there, my childhood was great! I never truly wanted for anything, and I had and have good relationships with all of my family members. I grew up in a Christian home and I have never had cause to question my faith. I went to a great college. True, I had a baby instead of graduating, but every class I took has enabled me to work independently and do well at a job I love. I married a wonderful man and have two beautiful and talented children. I have had job opportunities by the dozen offered to me at just the time I needed them, and I have loved every job I have ever worked. I own my own piano studio, AND I get to play at my church AND I get to accompany future Broadway Stars. So, yes! My life has been blessed beyond measure.
So, imagine my surprise when I discovered (after waking up from several days' sedation) that I had been in what undoubtedly should have been a fatal car accident. One minute I remember eating lunch with my Mom and the next thing I know someone is removing a breathing tube from my throat. Surprise is probably a mild description of what I felt. And then, the surprises kept coming. Thankfully, my Mom came out of the accident with only a broken wrist and some injured ribs. I am so, so thankful that my body took the greater abuse. I love my Mom so much, and I would never ever want her to be hurt for my sake. Then Eric slowly began revealing the extent of my injuries. Although I was wearing a seat belt, my body was partially pulled out of the car, so the left side of my face was basically scalped off. The surgeon had done an amazing job stitching me back together and reconstructing my ear, but we would have to wait and see the results. Maybe more surgeries later. The worst injury was to my right arm. My arm had been pulled out of the car and my humerus was crushed beyond repair. My brachial artery had been pulled out as well as several tendons in my fingers. There was a good chance the arm would have to go. After hours of surgery and a vein graft from my leg and I don't even know what else, my arm was saved. The surgeon conservatively estimated I would regain about 20% use, but I would have my own arm. As for playing the piano, forget it.
Well, let me tell you that I took all this better than I would ever have expected from myself. The only explanation I can give is that I was ALIVE! Nothing else really seemed to matter. I truly feel that God just filled me with peace about the whole situation. And then, the blessings just kept pouring down on me. My amazing church family was right there in CCU waiting with Eric and taking care of him. My family and best friends did not leave my side until they knew I would be ok. My incredible ACU family of co-workers came to check on me and talk to me even when I was unresponsive and sedated. The love and prayers flooded over me, and THEY are what will restore me to wholeness. Not just the incredible surgeon that I have. Not just the talented EMT's who got me to the hospital so quickly and gave me such good care. Not just the magnificent staff of doctors and nurses who saw me through the ER and 3 surgeries so far and my daily care.... I truly believe it is the faith and prayers of my wonderful family and friends across the globe who have diligently lifted up me and my situation.
I am overwhelmed by the power of these people and our awesome God who answers these prayers. My face is well on its way to normal. My arm still needs some work, but it works! The doctor thinks I will regain 90% uusage! I can feel my fingers and move them individually. These are just a few of the blessings I have been given that seemed completely out of reach two weeks ago.
I know many of my family and friends are worried that I maybe haven't fully grasped what this could mean for my future in music. But it is crystal clear to me. Yes, there was a time when I would have equated a life not making music with no life at all. But the truth is, I have an incredible and fulfilling life. I am a good Mom. I am a good cook and housekeeper. I'm a great piano teacher. I don't have to perform to be fulfilled. My life is richly blessed without that. Yes, it makes me sad to think I may never play some of my favorite sonatas or nocturnes or 2-part inventions like I could before. But it is truly ok. I can listen! And I can enjoy watching as my children and my students discover the same release I did when I learned those pieces. And who knows? My recovery is going so much better than expected! I know the prayers going out are for full restoration of function. And God can do it! If that is His plan, it will happen!
I have no idea what all these blessings mean for me. Tomorrow I go in for a muscle graft to replace my tricep and a skin graft to cover it up. As I prepare for bed, I can only pray that God continues to guide me so that I properly use these blessings He has bestowed upon me. I don't know if He has a special plan for the rest of my life or if He was just feeling extra-merciful on October 14 and since then. But whatever the reason behind it, I am loving this life and living every day fully.
